CAPD Community

This is a tough one for me! I am, by nature, a Certified Control Freak. I just NEED to know! I feel like I need to know how this Auditory Processing Disorder will play out in my son's life. Will he be happy? Will he be successful? By this, I don't mean make megabucks, but more like, will he find his way? Who will he turn out to be?

Will he ultimately feel good about himself in spite of his learning disability or will he be angry and resentful? Will he spend the rest of his life feeling frustrated? Will school always be hard for him? Will he ever want to do more than the minimum when it comes to learning? Will he ever attend a lecture just for the sheer pleasure of learning?

Will I ever be okay in the space of "not knowing?" Will I ever stop trying to help him to be the best he can be? Am I doing enough? Am I doing too much?

Pema Chodron has a book entitled, "Comfortable with Uncertainty." Uncertainty is one of the places I get "stuck" as she calls it. She refers to these emotions as the ones that teach us where we are holding back. She recommends that we lean in to these emotions when the natural reaction is to back away.

For me, it is where I feel the most vulnerability. But, isn't it this vulnerability that is our connection to every other person on Earth. It is our common denominator. If we really lean into it, we experience the true essence of others and of ourselves. This is where we see the gift that our children with learning disabilities are to us. The place we experience the true joy that they are!

Where are you today? Are you leaning in or backing away?